20 things that us ladies think when we’re suffering from cystitis

  1. Oh my. Ok, I’m starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. A bit…burny. Let me just shift around in my seat…
  2. Oh no, no, shifting doesn’t help. I hope I don’t have another UTI…
  3. Ok, it’s really starting to hurt now. I think someone lit a small fire in my nether-region. Ouchy ouchy ouch.
  4. Let’s google how to get rid of this horrible pain *types symptoms into webMD*
  5. OMGOMGOMG this says I could have bowel cancer… or kidney failure. That’s it, I’m going to die.
  6. Ah, right, it says to drink lots of water.
  7. Ah flip, this is the 1700th time I needed to pee today. Maybe I can hold it for a little bit longer…
  8. No, no, can’t hold it. RUN TO THE TOILET, GO GO GO.
  9. So this drinking lots of water thing sucks. I just feel very sloshy inside and a little bit sick.
  10. I know this pack of cystitis power says to drink 3 packs a day… but it’s so rank, maybe once will do the trick? I’ve already drunk a gazillion pints of water…
  11. Didn’t I read something about cranberries being a magical cure for these things? Maybe I should pop to Tesco…
  12. What if I need a wee in Tesco?! What if there aren’t any loos in there? Maybe I’ll just stay here…
  13. Oh but the pain, the pain. Maybe I should ring a doctor. Maybe I should go to A&E?! It does really hurt
  14. Does cystitis count as an emergency? I don’t think I could cope with the bus to the docs. Is it acceptable to ring a paramedic?
  15. Hmm maybe I’m being over dramatic. Let’s try an Alka-Seltzer
  16. Ahhh the fizzy goodness. This HAS to fix it right?
  17. WHY WAS I BORN A WOMAN?!?!
  18. Men don’t have to cope with this. Being a lady is hard work.
  19. Ah, the pain is fading, thank goodness.
  20. WHY ME? WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!?

 

Cystitis. The new illness especially designed for 20-something ladies, and the bane of my existence.

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